Dear 27 Manal, 

How are you na? Na-achieve mo na ba ang mga dreams mo in life? Are you satisfied with what you have right now? 

Ang dami kong tanong pero I want to hear your real answer, yung sigaw ng puso mo. Nahihirapan ka ba? Nalilito? Lost? Determined?

Ako kasi... I'm in the same situation. Sa tingin ko, sa akin babalik ang mga questions ko. hahaha 

I don't want to lie but I can't what's in my mind kasi mmay makakabas nito at mamisinterpret. Kaya, madalas ng nasa isip ko hindi ko nailalabas. 

Simulan ko na lang sa career choices. 

I wanted to be a lawyer pero when I started schooling mahirap pala maging lawyer. Kailangan ng emotional strenght. Wala ata ako nun. Kaya, hininto ko na mag-aral and thinking if babalik pa ba ako? Knowing the experience... hmmm not sure. 

2nd, Gusto ko maging journalist, broadcaster yung nakikita sa TV pero nang andito na ako... parang ayaw ko na. Nakakapagod rin kasi... 

3rd, I want to finish my doctorate pero magastos... dissertation na lang yung kulang isa  na akong ganap na PHD... pwede na akong tawagin na Doctor pero hindi ko pa rin matapos-tapos kasi ayaw ko gumastos. First time ko kasi mag-aral na ako ang gagastos for my schooling... hindi siya madali at mura. 


I still have a list pero no need to mention. Hindi naman ako reklamador pero gusto ko lang ivoice out para gumaan ang loob ko. 

Ang swerte talaga ng mga taong kasing edad ko who reach their dreams na. 

Congratulations! 

Sana ako din! 


Nangangarap, 
27 Manal 

JOWABLE

May mga show talaga na you watch it alone para mainternalize ang moral lesson. 💖
Kaya here I am!

Una kong napanood ng live si Kim Molina and Jerald Napoles sa Raks of Aegis Musical. They were great! Sobrang napahanga talaga ako sa kanila! Sulit!!!!! 😍 Kaya this time for sure ganun din ang mararamdaman ko sa movie na to! #HappyVibes 

ITO NA ANG SIMULA NANG AKING PAGNGILAY NGILAY SA PELIKULA. 

I am jowable.

Love ako ni Lord. I know. Pinapaligiran ako ng mga kaibigan kong may Jowa and I'm happy for them. Yey!

Dumating rin ako sa punto I asked God, I cried to God. I beg to God bakit wala akong Jowa? Jowable naman ako.

But that was years ago when I'm so hard on myself. I plan too much. I work so hard. I set my timeline very tight and left myself alone thinking "I need to reach this things by hook or by crook."

I am so desperate for someone's love and kept including him in my prayers - - - same prayers Elsa told to God.

But when time passes by, suitors just come and go. They retreat and surrender, waving their white flag. I realized there is no such thing as "easy love".  My desperation went low. I am no more delusional. I accepted the fact I'm growing older and fat. My parents don't pressure me to get married. It is only I who thought of it.

This movie set a tone of bitterness to those singles and sweetness of friendship and mother's love through ups and downs.

Wag magmadali. Wag maging desperate.
Miracles do happen. Our wishes will be granted soon, it may not look the same as we wish yet it may come in a different package with the same gift. Trust God. 

#Jowable
#RelateMuch.

This is my blog about my 25years old me. 

I know to myself I am always reserved. I don’t give my 100% potential and participation.  Maybe that’s how a libra acts, we are always in the safe zone, balancing what is right and wrong, determining the advantage and disadvantage, testing the water before jumping and the list goes on. 

That’s the downside of my persona, I am always on the backside of the story and action but the real score I can be on the spotlight but I choose not to. 

I am scared of judged, commit mistake, speak out loud my mind and being argued. Those things stop me to achieve my full potential. I tried but I always fail i can’t overcome my fear and doubts. If I did, I still doubt if I did right or it reached the expectation then people will laud my result but I still question myself. 

How sad my world is! Do you see, how difficult I am as a person? 

It all change when there will be a person who will fully trust and guide me as a potential, protege, and be somebody. 

But sad to note, at this age of mine I felt alone because no one would like to mingle and have friend with me. Why? Am I intimidated? Does my achievements as Cum Laude, Masters graduate, PhD, licensed professional or what made me different in the eyes of the people? I feel alone. I feel like I don’t have friends, co workers, teachers, mentors and purpose. I feel meh at this age.

I am walking in a dark road with no signals, sign boards and post. I am alone. 

I only wish is to revive my younger me; full of hope, energy, and love! 

This is a story of a 25 year old me.   

There's always a reason to be happy. Even I am in my darkest, saddest moments in life... I need to choose to be happy.

What's the reason of my happiness? I found a good reason... and that is to be me! I must be thankful that I am "me". I need to appreciate that I am "me". The "me" inside "me". What's with "me" that I can't move on without using the word "me"?

Me, is a word that simply describes "me". I am happy, satisfied, looking for better in life (ironic? yeah) and more.

I am happy because I found a reason that enriches my self-perception. I thought I was down. I am nothing. I am lost. I am broken. I am ... gone. But, this situation lift my spirit, encourages me to be better. I am more than myself. I made myself. I sacrifice many things in life to be in this situation and this is not the right time to end it all. 

I need to promote myself and be promoted!

I deserve it for all the reason I know.

I need to think positively for this is the only thing I could hold on!

I am not choosy for my potential husband but I believe quality and character is important for a life partner. It is not a matter of age but a matter of handling responsibility. I am 24 years old right now. I am heartbroken while writing this blog my tears are pouring. A while ago, I just met the man I thought  my one but tonight I officially closed our relationship ---  and forever not to talk to each other since few days from now he is leaving the country for his study grant abroad.

At the age of 25 years old, I want to get married. I want to have my own family... a husband, a son, a house and possibly a daughter. I only wanted was to be happy at that age --- obtain possible good memories with the man I love and be the father of my children.

Yet, I'm leaving him because I can't take him anymore.

That moment, I gave him a piece of paper that indicates 10 reasons why I'm leaving him.

It was difficult for me to hand over the paper and seeing him but I need to do it... for clarity. He is a man and I believe they are logical people  that needs reason. So , looking at his eyes and me almost crying, handed over the paper and said "These are the reasons." I can't hold my tears and I wiped it out.   

I said, "Sorry, I need to block you on facebook. I need to forget."
He replied, "No."
I don't know what to think...
I don't want to prolong my sadness. I wanted to forget him and move on.

FORGET: The happy memories we shared together, the sad stories I told him, the secrets I confessed, the jokes we laughed and all the things I can remember about him is I want to forget.

Please give me the freedom. I hope you found yourself a lady that will love you without perfection, accepts your sweetness and bitterness, sacrifice her life just for you which I'm not.

I am sorry if I hurt you in some many way but honestly you hurt me a lot too ... almost a lot.

In memory of our LOVE...

GOODBYE MAMIS!

ARMM EMPLOYEES PERFORMING ARTS GUILD (AEPAG)

My Notes: From the ARMM Employees Performing Arts Guild Assessment and team building facilitated by Prof. Thallasah Alava.

In this modern age, research is significant in every endeavor of life may it conventional or modern. It is a great back-up for innovation and creativity. Thinking is a need. Luck and perfection is greater to those who think.

I think but so much I give way because I felt inferior and weak. I learned that through time we can achieve success through focus, imagination and the like. Gradual acquisition but not that mentally slow. Learned from the critics but don't stop the creativity. Don't be scared to share. Being negated is normal because your 10% idea composes the 100% of the general production.

Don't do only for entertainment, move for an advocacy; an information related to the event. We must be the catalyst for information. How to achieve? It is through openness and encouragement using research and logic. The management may use the authority in the beginning but when the organization raises time democracy can be achieve because members are already matured.

Creativity is magical not a magic. Why? I answered yes it is because creativity is created thru a supernatural injection of new information in an instant situation or by a snap or sec while magic is a trick that needs rigid training to achieve perfection of the idea. The characteristic of magical and magic is different because of its inspirational source.

#aepag

#sexyaja

#realization

HIPECBM: Mindanao Hiroshima Skill-up Training

BANGSAMORO GIRL TRAINED IN JAPAN 

   I am an alumna of Hiroshima Peace and Capacity Building for the Bangsamoro (HIPECBM) sponsored by Hiroshima University and Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA). I am a Maguindanaon-Tausug in Cotabato CIty. I am working in the Department of Public Works and Highways as Audio-visual Production Officer. If you have the luxury of time to browse the net or facebook "DPWH on the Road", I am the voice behind it. Anyway, enough for the segway.  

I've been in Japan specifically to Higashi Hiroshima prefecture for one month on November 2015, January 2017 and July 2017, three times in a row for FREE. WOW! 

How did I do it?

I applied for it. Its not easy as 1-2-3 but the exposure I had in Japan was fun and exciting as ABC. Back to the question, how I did it? It was on year 2015 when I felt that it was the right time for me to join. I saw their posters in our graduate school in Mindanao State University Maguindanao and tarpaulin at St.Benedict College. I saw the first poster on 2014 but I was not confident enough back then seeing the procedure and requirement; there is a need for passport, transcript of records, filled up application forms and 2x2 photo. 

I didn't expect to chosen as part of 33 but I wish I wanted to be part of the 33. I think, they were convinced on my answers on the application questions. I was detailed, direct to the point, specific and passionate. My answers were related to my work experience, educational attainment and advocacy in life.  Hence, I am suggesting you to follow the same strategy. There is no lost in trying. 

Don't doubt yourself! Have faith and you can do it too! 

Kuba Community Center (Japan's Best Community Center) with my co-trainees (wearing gray clothes)

In our one month training, we learned the theories, concept and actual practice of Japanese people in governance and people management.

Walking in the Aisle with Blind Eyes

The night was dark and cold. I am walking alone in the streets, finding my way home. I  went out from office... and its time to  leave.

I am searching for things I wanted to know but I really don't know what I am searching for. Is this confusion that is playing on my mind?

I am young. I am a visionary. I have dreams. I have my passion but what happen to me? I am all stranded in this dark room... located in  this similar world. 

I have my light back then... but what happen? There is a sudden twist of events. 

A story of confusion... a statement of circumlocution... a fusion of all emotion. 

Now in this dark room, I am walking in the aisle... exploring the space with my two blind eyes.

---  out of the creativity  of  Manal JS. 

This story is based in the interview that the writer had in the deployment at one of the provinces in the Philippines. Furthermore, the names used in the story is made by the author's imagination to hide the true identity of the characters.

LIGHTEN THE GROWING CLOVER

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity” a statement imprinted in the welcome ark of Brgy. Bacolod, Irosin Sorsogon only a block away on the house where I stay. This line caught my attention when I was killing my time in the terrace only sitting, and an idea came out about it and I suddenly asked why? When  I have a thought to answer my question yet my friend called me downstairs inviting me to go out and I instantly followed her. Along with her is Ms. Bituin our host organization coordinator. Ms. Bituin is a biology graduate in UPLB. She is a daughter of a government employee and a councilor of Irosin.  She grew with a very supportive family. She can obtain anything she wanted for she is their favorite and unica ija. She is always on the line up of outstanding student upto college. She is blessed with all. She is known because of such charisma and appeal in their town. She always smile and easy to talk with. She knows everyone in the town even children. If she will run for some position I think she can have it.

When we are waiting in the plaza for our interviewee, group of parents waved a hand on Ms. Bituin and smiled while passing the street. When Mrs. Olbes  arrived also a smile welcomed us. Mrs. Olbes is a business woman, a nurse in profession and a mother of 4 kids.  She is the PTA President of ICDC ( Our Children's School). She sent her all  four kids in ICDC and she felt escape and free. Mrs. Olbes is very thankful to Ms. Bituin.

Ms. Bituin while walking towards the school she passed a middle age woman playing bingo then a dejavu is flashing her back. That time was 20years ago, a  woman (cobrador) holding a jueteng bet of P1000 and shouting for more bets. Jueteng is an illegal number game. It was famous when former Presidents E and A received millions of jueteng money allegedy.   Although illegal, it is a widely popular game with participation played by rich and poor alike. With long odds and no limits on minimum or maximum bets, the lure of quick riches through a lucrative payout is by far its strongest appeal. Women are the majority of the players and bettors who become role model of their growing children. Consequently resulted to poverty, malnutrition, crimes, miseducation, unemployment and the others which became a major problem of the town.

As a call for women development and self-directing community, Ms. Bituin and other active working and non-working women created an organization that brought up the voice and capacity of women for development work they subsequently formed themselves into a now known Malaya Ka, Inc. Malayang Lapian ng mga Kababaihan, Inc. (MALAYA KA).The organization starts to implement livelihood development trainings and information drive discussions focuses on women, youth and children. That these sector will achieve and enjoy strong and autonomous women organization, viable development centers, functional barangay and/or municipal committees, effective delivery of services including education, health nutrition and livelihood, and efficient management of institutional resources.

WHEN I WAS SLEEPING

By Manal Sugadol
Philippine Daily Inquirer

In front of the church, families head home after the Sunday Mass, the children playfully running toward the gate. They are happy and grateful for life.
But two blocks away an old woman is sitting beside a tomb surrounded by dry leaves. It is cold and windy. The woman is crying, her hair disheveled by the wind, her torn dress trailing on the ground.

A year earlier the woman was in church, thanking God for His blessings—her family’s wealth, her loving husband, their healthy son and daughter. One day, her husband won a family trip to a province known for its nature spots. He told her the happy news and said they should grab the chance to enjoy a vacation. She was also happy with the prize yet for some reason she could not explain, she was hesitant to say yes. But she saw the excitement in her husband’s eyes, and decided to make arrangements for the trip.

It was dusk when the family left home in the car. The children slept contentedly in the back seat. Midway in the trip (about five hours of travel), the wife glanced at her husband. He was focused on the road. She smiled and glanced at their sleeping children.
She didn’t realize that she herself had fallen asleep. Minutes later—or hours, she could not say—she felt her head striking something. She had been thrown against the windshield, and her hands were trembling. There was blood on them, and on her clothes. A sense of terror flowed through her body.

Her mind pushed her to move forward. She looked behind her but could not see her children in the back seat. “Where are my children!” she shouted repeatedly. She looked at her husband but he was not there. “Where are you? Please tell me, where are you?” she begged. No answer came.Hysterical, she walked away from the scene. She walked and wandered, not knowing where to go.

After walking a long time, she reached a church and saw playful children and their families happily heading home after the Sunday Mass.
Two blocks away, she saw a tomb surrounded by dry leaves. The place was cold and windy. She read the name on the tomb, realized that it was hers, and began to cry…
This story took form when I was sleeping. It continues to give me goose bumps and tears. It’s a dream that has haunted me every night.

Manal Sugadol, 19, is a new communication studies graduate of Mindanao State University Marawi.

Read more: http://opinion.inquirer.net/33695/when-i-was-sleeping#ixzz2cETrhkAd Follow us: @inquirerdotnet on Twitter | inquirerdotnet on Facebook

This was published last July 31, 2012. 

        I am Manal J. Sugadol. A wanderer and excursionist in nature. I love to explore and try new things for it gives me the adrenaline rush and energy which I  really like.  I love dancing especially modern dance but I also dance cultural and modern contemporary. I usually make people smile and laugh even I look ridiculous. I am an activist  of NO TO STRESS and NO TO PRESSURE and I still need members.

By the way,  these are some facts about me,  I was born on October 15, 1992 at Medina, Monawara Kingdonm of Saudi Arabia. My zodiac is Libra and my animal year is Monkey. Both of my parents were overseas Filipino worker (OFW) back then. My father, Usop Sugadol, was working then as a blue collar job while my mother, Belinda Jingona, was a midwife in a government hospital. I have four siblings, three boys and a girl. Mohammad Usop is the eldest, we call him Kuya Mamad. Maher is the second, Kuya Mae or Maher. I am next followed by my younger brother Mohannad Hani or Hani/ Bonbon. Lastly, my little sister Marwa or Jam2x. We are seven in the family including my parents when we are all at home everyone has its own work designation. 

My mother would not allow us to sit and watch TV she will be angry doing such. So, as her cadets we involuntary follow her orders day until night. Believe me sometimes we don't take rests yet that training gave us the opportunity to be responsible.  Back to the facts, we are permanently living at Blk. 21 Lot 33, RH-8 Notre Dame Village, Cotabato City, Philippines. We stayed at Cotabato for almost 25 years same with the age of my eldest brother. We have relatives through out the country but mostly are residents of  Datu  Abdullah Sangki, Maguindanao and Indanan Jolo, Sulu relatively to my parents.



      Academically, I graduated my prep and basic education at Notre Dame Village Elementary School and my secondary at Notre Dame Village National High School both places are  kilometer away in our house. Even I live so near the school still I am late, always. I remember one moment I was not able to enter school because the school guard did not permitted me for such I was 30 minutes late. I will be so early for the second subject sarcastically he said, those were the days. I have vast memories in High School may it be happy, sad, lovely, romantic, chill, relax ... name it and I have it.

        When I reached College, I am proud to say that I am a public girl it does not mean I am for  public consumption. But, I am a so called  "Skolar ng Bayan" for I graduated my tertiary education also in a public university or may it say in a government funded university and literally a scholar by then. I took the course of Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies major in Speech Communication and Theater Arts at Mindanao State University- Main Campus, Marawi City, Lanao del Sur.  I love my course not because of its terms embedded on it but the people who are in it. I became an artist, performer, public servant, leader, writer, activist, protagonist, antagonist, so and so. I had experienced a whole new world contrary to what was nurtured.

 I became independent and responsible on many aspects of life, financial, moral, spiritual, social, personal and physical. That experienced make me a strong person, a person that has flexibility and versatility to different people and work. I am  alumna of Sining Kambayoka Ensemble, Commuter's Hardcore, Voice of the Youth-Lanao, Liga ng Kabataang Moro, League of the Filipino Students, Future Shaped Laboratory Theater, Union of the Communication Artist and SAMAPAH.

         
 Consolidating all the knowledge and experiences I had acquired to all these organizations which I applied in my day to day life I leaved my alma mater as CUM LAUDE and College Performer Year 2011-2012 (April 12). Our batch were tagged as the "Golden Batch". Since, we graduated on the 50th year founding anniversary of the university.Then, the reality of life awaits us.

       Now, I am continuing what God intends for me, my dream, my mission and  the change I want to make in the world. 

Visit my facebook account for current updates about me and my fight